MARKS OF A GODLY MARRIAGE
 A Message by Pastor Olawole Dahunsi

Text:

Colossians 3:16-21

 “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord. 17 And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him. 18 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord. 19 Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them. 20 Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. 21 Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.”

 Ephesians 6:1-3  

“Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. 2 Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;) 3 That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.”

 Ephesians 5:21 “Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.”

From the passages above, it suggest that not every marriage is a godly marriage. The home is where society starts from; the product of the home makes the society and so if the home is bad it reflects on the society. When the home is not right, it produces unrighteous people, and eventually the society becomes unrighteous. Every one of us is product of a home; if the home you are coming from is not a godly home, your life can never be godly.

One of the marks of an ungodly home is that they are not rightly married; they are just cohabiting but a godly home is a home where everything is based on Christ and sometimes when they realize that they have done wrong, they aspire to make things right. So every marriage has a foundation. When the foundation is not laid on Jesus Christ, the home will face a lot of problems.

 The Marks of a Godly Marriage:

1. God is the head of that marriage: they fear and honor God in that marriage. They do everything to please God and the fear of God is the beginning of wisdom and wisdom is the principal thing. So if any marriage is to succeed, there must be fear of God.

2. There is mutual respect and submission: when you see any man who is intimidating his subordinates, he is a failed man. So as the husband and father, when you start saying I am the husband or I am the father of this house, check well, you have failed somewhere. The husband respects the wife, and the wife respects the husband. There is nothing bad in saying let me ask my wife first, or my husband first before doing anything because the husband and wife are one.

3. Everything is done in the family to glorify God. I remember a sister who worked in Abuja. The husband was not well to do. Any little issue she will tell the man ‘give me the keys to my house, or leave my house’. It came to a point where the husband could not take it anymore, so he packed his properties and left. The woman ran to me complaining that the husband had left her. It is not right to torment your wife or husband with the little God has given to you.

4. It is a home where money does not rule the home: the wife and husband do not hide money from each other. Sometimes the wife will bring salary and say ‘daddy I have been paid’

5. The children are nurtured and trained in the way of God: you do not have to ask your children to greet you before they do so. I had an experience during the week; the father said my child is well trained. I said ok. I told the child, “When you get to where you are going, call me or text me”. Up till today I have not seen the text… It is our duty to train our children well.

6. There is intimacy among family members: they do not hide themselves from one another, they do not defraud one another and they know what each other want even without requests.

7. Everybody knows their responsibilities: I went to a home and was amazed at the kind of understanding they have; the wife ensures that there is food in the house regularly from her salary while the husband ensures that every other needs are met including the children’s school fees. The children attend one of the costliest private school and they are well taken care of by their father.

8. There is maturity and spirituality in the home: unfortunately we have so many baby husbands/wife now, when you are married over 10 years and you are still beating your wife, keeping malice with your wife, you are a baby husband.

9. There is forgiveness in that home.

10. There is good communication: they talk and discuss with one another.

11. There is love among the family members: they make a loving family

11. There is hospitality: they receive everybody and welcome everybody.

12. Both of them are committed: husband and wife want the marriage to succeed, so they commit themselves to the marriage.

Rules for a Successful Marriage:

1. Both of you should not be angry at the same time

2. Never shout at each other except there is fire outbreak

3. If one of you has to win an argument, it should be your partner. Keep quiet as the husband

4. If you have to criticize your partner, do so lovingly. Do not say negative things about your wife in the public

5. Never bring the mistakes of the past to the present

6. Neglect the whole world but do not neglect your partner: you can forsake every other thing but do not forsake you spouse.

7. Never go to sleep with an argument that is unsettled. Ensure you settle every quarrel or misunderstanding before going to bed.

8. At least once a day, say a kind word or pay a compliment to your partner.

9. When you are wrong admit it and ask for forgiveness

10. It takes two to fight, quarrel but do not try to impose your deficiency on your partner.

God’s desire is that we have a godly home, so if there is anything that is making our home not to be godly, we need to put it right.

Bow your heads, tell God today come into my home; come O Lord and rule my home, take charge of my family in Jesus name.

Prayer

Any power on assignment to scatter my home, die in the name of Jesus.